I ask for your continued prayers for my daughter and her mother. About three years ago, my daughter chose, after witnessing my reversion and confirmation, to come into the Church. She seemed happy with her decision until the last six months or so. In the last two months, she has become increasingly disaffected, but she wouldn't ask questions or make comments. She simply became more and more irritable. I finally confronted her on this issue, and she indicated that she doesn't know if she believes in the teachings of the Church anymore.
Mind you, she's 13. She did very well with her lessons coming into the Church, but educating her for the last year (the start of junior high) has been like pulling teeth. When I actually asked the teaching to which she referred, she came up with some standard items, some real and some simple misinformation: no ordination for women, the Church's supposed "hatred" of other denominations and of homosexuals, the issue of choice. She told me that she considers herself a feminist. She also has mentioned not feeling God's presence at Mass.
These are all the same issues that her mother has with the Church. While she claims that no one has influenced her, I have a hard time buying it, and her mother as much admitted that she shares her opinions with my daughter. I suspect it's a bit more than a simple sharing of her opinion, but I have no control over it, whatever it was.
I've tried to get my daughter to ask more questions, and I've provided plenty of reading material on the subject. When we talk, she seems open to discussion, but when she goes back to her mother's house, all bets are off. She seems to swing back and forth weekly.
Please pray for my daughter, and perhaps more importantly, pray for her mother's conversion of heart. Thank you all in advance, and God bless.
4 comments:
Your instincts are right on. She is being influenced, and, being 13, that's very easy because it's a lot easier as a 13 year old to go with the flow than it is to think critically and come up with one's own opinion.
I will pray for both of them, and for you.
My advice to you is to not shove things down her throat...that will chase her away, and she doesn't need any help with THAT endeavor. Be available, talk if she wants to talk, and be casual if she makes any kind of strides.
One of the things 13 year olds can't stand is to have attention drawn to their about-faces if they make any. So more often than not, if they agree with you as an adult, they won't admit it upon pain of death. So just do what you do, don't make a big deal about anything, adopt the "whatever" attitude, and let your ability to be casual draw her in. Keep up with your practices and devotion in her eyesight if that's normal, and just do your best to live your life. Let her see your joy.
Believe me, it makes a difference. She may fall away, and clearly that's happening...but it's also natural to a point.
Basically, be St. Monica. Be Catholic, don't apologize for it, pray, ask for her and St. Augustine's intercession...and when your daughter is ready to come home, she'll have you to thank for it. And then you can talk about the saints! :-)
(btw..my Mom is St. Monica. I'm St. Augustine, except I'm not a guy, I'm not nearly as brilliant and intelligent as he, and I'm not a guy, nor a bishop. But other than that....)
:-)
My sympathies; it sounds like a very difficult situation for you.
OTOH, 13 is an age for fierce opinions (often upsetting to parents) which later on tend to melt away. Certainly I believed stuff at 13 that I look back on with bemusement.
In any case, best wishes
Thanks for your comments, Steve (and you, too, Adoro). For me is the fear of just who far I went when I rejected the faith of my youth. Thankfully, my daughter isn't as confused as I was, but I would hate to see her go down that path.
Ultimately, though, it's not my call. I have to let go and put it into God's hands.
Prayers for you, your daughter and her mum.
Post a Comment