Thursday, February 09, 2006

A Not-so-beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

**Reposting due to Blogeger glitches last week.

I wrote this a long time ago, probably just out of high school. I'm reproducing it here, complete with grammatical errors, misspelling, poor phrasing, and historical glitches. I only have a first hand-written draft. Don't recall if I ever cleaned it up.

The soft-white, synthetic light shone brightly down on The Land of Make-believe and all of the nylon and rubber citizens scurried about their daily business. Henrietta Pussycat purred quietly to herself as she watered her daffodils. Mr. Owl strutted around majestically in his Benjamin Franklin costume and cheerfully greeted Mr. McFeeley who strolled by as quickly as his hemorroids would permit. "Speedy delivery, Mr. Owl!" No one suspected the horror the horror soon to befall all of them.

Trolley made his round through Fred's living room, but moments before he exited through his tunnel, the tracked was strafed with machine-gun rounds. "Ding-ding!" he said in horror as his side panels were splintered with shot. He dashed hurriedly for the refuge of his tunnel, but was stopped short of his goal as he detonated the claymore anti-personal device which propelled backward, into the aquarium. The fish didn't mind; they had already been ruthlessly massacred.

"This way," said the squad leader in a brusque Russian tongue. "I've seen Fred go this way on the show."

King Friday's trumpeteer's flourished brashly as the infiltrators moved about the palace wall. The king made his grand appearance but stopped short, staring down the barrel of an AK-47. "Soviet shock troops I presume."

"Correct as always, you stinking capitalist pig!" screamed the gun-wielding bolshevik as he let loose with a blast from his automatic rifle, which promptly reduced King Friday to shredded rubber and cotton stuffing.

The Queen, annoyed by the ruckus, unknowingly walked out of the castle entrance and to her death. "What's happening Friday... Aaagh!" Her scream startled the troops, who quickly leveled their rifles on her and fired their deadly volley.
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